MIM Day 3: Mindfulness vs. Hummus

Mindfulness Starts to Steer... Mind Fights Back with Hummus

I'm sitting on my meditation cushion. It's 12.20 a.m. on Friday night. Arguably, I should be out flirting and catching up with friends. However, my academic fetish keeps me quite content at home today, reading and writing two (yes, t-w-o) essays for university. Usually, this entails a day of binge eating and regular distractions. Today, that doesn't happen.

I wake up late, around 10 a.m., after a night of vivid dreaming ending with the words: "bring in the cavalry". As a professional dream analyst, I feel jittery about what this message may be preparing me for.

Meditation is on my mind, but I feel a wave of intimidation around doing a 40-minute sit (sponsorship hot over $2000 yesterday!). To my credit, I combine letting myself off the hook with a a mindful move: I become curious about what in me does want to happen in this moment...




It turns out to be a green smoothie. The second one I've even made, and the first to be drinkable. Spinach, cucumber, broccoli, parsley, juiced lemon and ginger, pear juice and water. In keeping with my mindful curiosity about what in me simply wants to happen if I don't interfere at all, I passively witness myself making about a litre of green smoothie, and over half a litre of carrot, cucumber, lemon & ginger juice. Apparently, I am doing a juice fast today.

I attribute this totally unconscious process to the two days of meditation and mindfulness behind me. It's actually not a dramatic claim, as even a small increase in body attunement yields a richness of instinctual drives - including the drive towards health and well being.

In retrospect, I've had a sore stomach for about a week, and on Wednesday night was sleepless with stomach cramps (see MIM Day 2). I forgot all about it yesterday and ate comfort food for dinner; but today, because I was mindful, my body put me on detox program. I'll spare you the rumbling details, but I do feel a lot better. : )

Confession - 7 p.m., totally stuck on my research paper on ethical practice for therapists, I brake out the hummus. Rice crackers. Tomatoes. Avocado. Tried to chew well, but really... not my most mindful moment. Followed by more carrot juice. And tea.

At 11p.m., I tear myself away from a paper that has finally started to form, because I get the call from inside: it's time to sit a 40 minute meditation. I remember: When starting to meditate again, after a couple days the call to meditate is there, but very quiet at first. Easy to ignore. Responding opens the door.

With me, I took Goenka, who sadly is struggling with his health today. His distinctive voice guides me through the first 15 minutes: Anapana Sati meditation on breathing.

Then, I meditated.

Still not sure why I need to bring in the cavalry. But right now, in this moment, everything feels okay.

Ohm.