Accepting This

Yes, it is true. I confess,

I have thought great thoughts,
and sung great songs—all of it
rehearsal for the majesty
of being held.

The dream is awakened
when thinking I love you
and life begins
when saying I love you
and joy moves like blood
when embracing others with love.

My efforts now turn
from trying to outrun suffering
to accepting love wherever
I can find it.

Stripped of causes and plans
and things to strive for,
I have discovered everything
I could need or ask for
is right here—
in flawed abundance.

We cannot eliminate hunger,
but we can feed each other.
We cannot eliminate loneliness,
but we can hold each other.
We cannot eliminate pain,
but we can live a life
of compassion.

Ultimately,
we are small living things
awakened in the stream,
not gods who carve out rivers.

Like human fish,
we are asked to experience
meaning in the life that moves
through the gill of our heart.

There is nothing to do
and nowhere to go.
Accepting this,
we can do everything
and go anywhere.

- Mark Nepo

my blog is considering forgiving me

oh dear. a year has passed since i held this page.

as i slip in quietly between the sheets of "new post" and "publish now", firefly lies still, showing me its naked back, pretending to be asleep.

but i know how to push its buttons. i know where it likes to be touched.

there is a way to be felt. a way much truer than explanations.

longing is fair. sadness just is. but resignation, we don't do around here.

right baby?

shhh. okay. we'll talk in the morning.

but i can already feel you considering forgiving me...

risk enchantment

I see a similarity
between the Laughing Woman
and myself.
I have heard the sound of summer
in the rain.
I have seen girls on board walks
have complicated sensations.
I understand their hesitations.
I am a gatherer of fruit.
I have seen how kisses
cause euphoria.
I have risked enchantment.
I have seen the Virgin
in an appletree at Chartres
And Saint Joan burn
at the Bella Union.
I have seen giraffes in junglejims
their necks like love
wound around the iron circumstances
of the world.

from Autobiography by Lawrence Ferlinghetti