unrealized realizations

So many feelings in me that I cannot untangle from this sticky, incenstuous web. So many thoughts, the ghosts of which leave pale streaks of unforgiven moments across my heart. Unrealized realizations, weighing me down. How to scrape away the disenchantment. How to release the dread of repetition, of magnetically making the same mistakes over and over again. So many untruths blocking out the light. A thick film of insincerity, angular like a diamond’s surface, obscuring my desires for tomorrow and deflecting beams of truth that were homeward bound, shooting them off into opposing directions at sharp angles, away from me, away from my need.